born to fly

thoughts on the exquisite joy & pain of being a mother...

I can't remember exactly where I heard this quote from

but it went something like this...

having a child 

is like taking your heart

out of your chest

putting arms and legs on it

and watching it walk around on its own.

 

no one tells us, as mothers,

how very much pure, true love and joy

we will have for our children.

nor do they tell us,

how very agonizing it is, when that same child 

makes a wrong decision or is hurt in some way.

these are lessons we learn along the way,

as our children make their own way

through the path of their life.

My oldest sweetpea is 20 years old 

and has just made the most courageous decision

to enlist in the US Army.

This is truly an amazing opportunity for him

and his wide open future.

While I am thrilled and excited for him

as his mother I am also,

just plain scared for him,

and the knowledge of what may befall him. 

I have newfound respect and understanding

for every single

mother, father, grandparent, sibling

and loved one

of any member of the armed services.

Thank you for your sacrifice and support.

There goes my heart...walking around outside my body, on his own. 

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone 
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own 
Before it slips away 
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along 
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song 
That you learn to play 

When you're soarin' through the air 
I'll be your solid ground 
Take every chance you dare 
I'll still be there 
When you come back down 
When you come back down

"When you come back down"  lyrics by Nickel Creek

xoxo,

cs

 

a re-introduction...and a choice to define myself.

since it's been so very long

since i have blogged regularly.

thought i'd do a lil re-introduction of sorts. :)

grab a big ol' cup o coffee or tea...

this is ME...

with my beautiful daughter in the background.

if you know me, you know i take ALL the pics in the family 

because i can't stand photos of myself. literally can't stand.

however...

with a daughter who is 10 years old

and growing up so very quickly

i don't want to be an example of 

self doubt, criticism or judgement.

my goal this year is to have more pictures of ME taken,

and include them in my blogging, scrapbooking, etc.

looking through past albums i've done, it almost looks like

the kids were raised without a mama!

i do want to preserve a memory for them of who i was...

wrinkles and all. :)

so...baby steps, right?

i'm working on getting the whole face in there.

who's with me on this?

ok...so a little more about me...

i am:

a solo mama to three beautiful children.

a believer in the infinite love & power of God.

a truly loved partner of an amazing truly loved man.

a kindergarten teacher/mom to 13 beautiful little souls in my classroom this year.

a lover of the different, unique, individual.

an impassioned supporter of young girls and their need to be shaped in a positive, powerful way.

a believer in the impossible.

a lover.

a hoper.

a dreamer.

nice to meet you. :)

we all within us

have the power to be

exactly who we want to be.

and define OURSELVES.

you are NOT what others tell you to be.

no matter if you are 10 or 70.

you are and can be

exactly whom YOU choose to be. 

it's a beautiful, beautiful thing when you discover this. 

so, there's a bit about me.

how about you?

xoxo

and so it goes...

<<gasp!!!>>

yes friends, i know it's been far, far too long since i've posted.

my little blog has been slumbering away...

though always briefly woken up, here and there, in my thoughts...

even if i didn't put fingers to keyboards in order to complete the posts. 

i have been reminded so often of late...

of the sheer power of LIFE.

and learning

and changing

and growing

and humility.

so very, very much has changed in my life in the last few years.

and it took quite awhile to be READY again.

but i am ready...

and look towards the future with a happy and contented heart.

i truly hope to be posting more often...

and sharing my thoughts with you.

i'm excited to be embarking upon, project life, this year.

though in my own style and method...of course :) 

LOVING this method of memory keeping 

SO SO much...

and look forward to sharing more of that with you. 

if you'd like to peek at more of my pages

you can hop over to my flickr page.

my pages shown incorparate a variety of

vintage materials and ephemera

studio calico kits and downloads.

i also used these sweet free downloads.

so for now my friends...

thanks for reading...

thanks for peeking...

i'll see you soon...

promise.

xoxo

cs

as though i had wings...

 

image via pininterest

xoxo,

cs

 

happy 2012...

the happiest of new year's

to you

my sweet friends.

it's been

far too long

i know.

how are you?

doing well

and inspired

and loved

i hope.

i wanted to share

a beautiful piece of art

that has touched my heart

and I thought

it might be beautiful

to you as well...

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Mary Oliver

 

i have been

on my own journey

sweet friends.

am still in the midst of it.

and it's taken much of my time.

almost 2 years ago

i started this journey

just took a little step forward

and kept going

and going

and changed

what HAD to be changed.

i made the decision

to leave my marriage

with the man i've spent

the last two decades of my life with.

and it was hard

and scary

and there were moments of wonderful 

all at the same time.

the very hardest

steps to take

are the ones

we know will be painful.

but sometimes

we MUST take them anyway.

though my journey

is not over

and i'm still taking those steps

i will share a secret with you.

it's been worth

each and every

painful step

scary decision

moment of change.

WHEREVER you are

in your own life

and journey,

i wish you COURAGE.

i wish you STRENGTH.

i wish you WISDOM.

i wish you

the knowledge to do 

whatever it is

in your own soul

that is calling out to you.

my journey is my own

and i neither want to 

give advice

nor 

suggest that

anyone else's journey

is the same as mine.

but if you are struggling

or in need of a hand to hold

i wanted you to know

that you

are not alone.

and there is always 

a new tomorrow

and always

another step 

you can take.

 

i've missed you my sweet friends.

xoxo,

cs